Indio notes on THE LOST ALBUM (TRAVEL ON 2007)
It was early 2007 and I felt like I would die if I didn’t lay these songs down. Making this next record was going to save my life and make it all better. Sound familiar?
New songs were coming but I resented them trying to get in. There was no more room in my head. In the two years since Album 1, my mother and a few other friends had passed on and I had left a long-term girlfriend and muse. Accumulated grief was screaming for entry. My mother Maria was the glue that kept my pieces together for the 20 years I’d been on the road since age 13 and I was now a broken 33 or sure felt like one.
Then, on a long flight one day, after years of easy flying, I had my first panic attack. After a lifetime of ’clinical’ depression this ‘panic disorder’ brought me to my knees just when my dreams were starting to come true. I had performance requests coming in from everywhere. I was finally on the radio in a steady way and yet suddenly I couldn’t fly anymore. Or sit in the back of a tour van. Or be in crowds or backstage. And then, finally, on stage at all, which was pretty much the only place I had felt both safe and alive for most of my life up until then. I was still doing all of the things I was supposed to but it was like I lived in hell 24/7. I’m pretty glad no one told me it would take another decade for the panic to clear though, because I may not have waited.
Within those two years, the industry had tanked and taken hundreds of labels down with it along with mine. It wasn’t a fun time. They were mad at me. I was mad at them. Fuck up after fuck up, again and again, and on my end a growing and ungrateful impatience, frustration, and rage. I had signed a contract for a 2nd album and wanted it badly but I wasn’t holding my breath. Nothing was working. So why would this? Then at some point, Bob called and said we should just go ahead and record and worry about the money later. We worked for one super intense week while winter still clung to the ground and wonderful Annie kept us alive with her loving food and good cheer. I’m pretty sure Bob never received a dime for his efforts.
I don’t remember much about the sessions besides not letting Bob do much but hit ‘record’ and play along a little while I shuffled from instrument to instrument, looking for the magic that would take this great unravelled sorrow away and never quite did. In hindsight I wish I had listened to him. I also remember the 2 inch Studer tape machine giving up and gobbling 2 days of takes and having to start all over again. That wasn’t much fun. Then a few crazy days to get as far as what you hear now. 80 percent done and only rough-mixed. Never mastered. Unfinished. We couldn’t. We walked away. Defeated. As I listen to it now, that’s probably a good thing. Bob and I didn’t talk for a few years but luckily our friendship survived. I think we can both chuckle about these things now thank G-d.
I never thought I’d hear this again and it felt good to listen today and feel the intent behind it and find a little more compassion for this young(er) man. To know that his life got better. That we can all get better. That healing can happen, and that it’s never-ending, and that I’m grateful. Grateful to you for being there and my Maker for another day above ground and the songs that keep trying to bust in. I also think I sound a little more like Indio now. That’s ok with me.
Un abrazo fuerte amigos,
Indio Saravanja January 2020
TRAVEL ON (THE LOST ALBUM):
Travel On
Mamzelle Gibson (Moustaki / Saravanja)
Stranger Song
El Camino Dreams
Music Man
Johnny Guitar
Black Angel
Middle Of Things (demo)
Sleep Late Maria
Desperate Man (Song for Leonard)
Quietly I Go My Way
TRAVEL ON personnel:
Produced by Indio Saravanja
Engineered by Bob Hamilton
Bob Hamilton - Banjo, Mandolin
Annie Avery - Hammond Organ (El Camino Dreams)
Pat Braden - Bass
Lonnie Powell - Drums
Indio - Guitar, Piano, Hammond Organ, Harmonium, Glockenspiel…